Wrath

The grass was a different color this morning. The fog was a different feel. Waking up in the lawn chair is where i dreamt i'd find myself as a kid. Dazed. I used my arm as a pillow last night. I never thought this would be my life. No mailbox. No mirrors. No toothpaste. No slacks. No sugar for my coffee. No. No. No. No good morning kiss? No. Dirty band-aids on my bestubbled head. They burn but so does the alcohol that lathers over my organs. Coming up with excuses so i don't have to see people. They would benevolently slit my throat if they could hear my thoughts.

"I don't know if i could be any more in love with you. This isn't your usual relationship and you're not the usual person. Little do i know i could be stepping into something dangerous. The farther and farther we go. Life is just easier when I'm with you. I've found that not much makes sense in this world and not a lot of things are worth my time and thought. But you make everything seem worth it. I hope this lasts forever because i really don't want to fall asleep next to anybody else."

Our heads, your heads. One. None.

Accept the negative things as positives. Accept the fact that people are hypocrites. Release your feelings with those around you so they know how to treat you. Release the truth, even if it's harsh, honesty should never be taken as an insult, even if we are vulnerable. Thoughts about yourself that are dark, brooding and negative are a part of you, not the whole. We need to accept those parts and be able to talk about them, not run away from them.

Being human is accepting everything and anything about yourself and other human beings. You don't need to lie to yourself, saying they're wrong and you're wrong. If you can put yourself in other peoples shoes without taking time to think about it, even if they're someone you dislike, you're on the right track. Thinking as if experiences are what teaches a person how to be, so we should take everything in considoration to ourselves. Good or bad. Don't lie to yourself by thinking that the way you see the world is the only way to see the world.

We need to be able to express the emotions we hide. People need to learn to take hostility without getting hostile. Learn the difference between 'need' and 'want'. Don't lie to yourself on that one. That's the biggest psychological problem humans seem to have. Be aware of when you tell yourself that things are going to change but you do nothing to make this happen.

The real you is the one whose passions, beliefs, values and preferences matter but should be vocalized and shown in more constructive ways that help and nurture others, not treat them as barriers in your way or as sources of confrontation. 

Me & You

I want to sleep next to you. I want to make breakfast for you. I want to get super high with you and laugh at stupid shit. I want your hand to hold walking down the beach. I want to trust you more. I want to spend nights just cuddling. I want to wrestle you to the ground. I want to feel comfortable around your family. I want to know you more. I want to buy you little things i know you’d like. I want to draw you pictures. I want to make you the happiest boy. I want to share music with you. I want you to tell me things you’ve never told anyone else. I want you to remind me that you love me. I want more than what we have but mostly, I want more than what we had. <3

i want to swim in neon water
i want to dive into electricity
i want to feel pure
i want my body stained, lime, pink, and blue
i want to cleanse my head of all bad memories
i want the rain to burn my skin,
as i swim in neon water.

The broken hearts, the things you take,

Never will I make the same mistake.

I figured you out, like a puzzle, a game,

You’ll always be the one in shame.

I never miss your golden hair,

Your lovely eyes,

The way you stare.

I never will cry out for help again,

This is the end,

This is the end.

The salty stone rests in the frozen layers of a winter wonderland.

Your lungs fill with cold gasping breaths.
You screech your voice, pleading for a miracle.
Your body lay flat in the crystallized ice.
Your face is red.
Your toes are blue.
Your chilled veins feel to burst.

You reach for the warmth.
Your hand aches with pain all through your veins just grasping for the stone.
Farther and farther your hand reaches.
You linger it with your fingers, moving it slighting forward toward you.
You feel the ruby piece of heaven placed inside your fist as you clench it tight.
You pull it to your heart.

It's all you need.
To keep your blood pumping.
To keep it alive.
To keep it loved.
To keep it yours.